Love

My only note on Facebook. Dani told me to put in on here.


So I was in the shower (Where I do all of my best thinking) relaying some of the lyrics from Fort Minor's "Where'd you Go" song, and my first inclination was that he was talking to himself as one of his ex-significant others, one whom he had especially strong feelings toward. Perhaps strong enough to be considered love.

This is about where my thoughts took a tangent turn and I thought "What is love?" (Baby don't hurt me). "I love cheesecake." Great. "I love to watch movies." Awesome. "I love you." Fantastic. Love is supposed to be one of the strongest feelings you can have, and we use it for everything from sports to books to people. The word is far too abused to have any significant meaning in itself. To love something or someone is no more meaningful than to think fondly of it.

In. Two extra letters, one extra word. To be in love holds so much more meaning than to simply love. I love a lot of things. WoW, my job (crazy, I know), so many different kinds of food that I can't even begin to list them all. I'm in love with only Dani. That is the kind of love I'm going to focus on, so the question now becomes, "What is in love?"

People often say things like "I would take a bullet for you" or "I would die for you", which sounds very heartfelt and sincere, except for the fact that the chances of that person ever being in such a position are rather small, and therefore anybody could say something like this to anybody, and there would be know way of knowing who's being sincere and who isn't. Therefore, I wouldn't take such a declaration to heart.

What, then, would be a more plausible declaration to somebody? One that you can judge and measure by looking at how a person acts and reacts and talks and just seems around you?

I would do anything to make you happy.
I don't know what I would do if I lost you.
You make me happy.
I don't want to be with anyone else.

It's a lot harder than I initially thought it would be to come up with some of these things, but I think this is enough to show what I mean. These aren't just things you can say with words; they are actions and mannerisms that you tend to (inadvertently) show when you're with that certain someone. Even during fights, these things may continue to be obvious, no matter what words come out of your mouth. Hopefully your partner (spouse, significant other, 'just a friend') will see through this barrier of words and realize that you don't mean what you say. Sometimes they will retaliate with harsher words that are nothing more than a barrier that you have to see through. Sometimes one of you won't see through this barrier, and a partnership (but not necessarily the state of being in love) will end over a dumb argument (because, let's face it, most arguments are dumb).

Honesty and trust are key. True love does not lie. "Does this dress make my butt look big?" "Why yes. Yes it does." THAT is love. Don't deceive your partner about anything, and don't hide things from your partner. Deep, dark, terrible secrets that you vowed you would take with you to the grave should not be hidden from your partner, but only if you trust them. If the feeling is mutual, no matter what the secret, it will not hinder the relationship.

Comfort is just as important. Until you feel completely comfortable being with your partner, you are not truly in love. As a friend of mine once told me, "You are not truly in a relationship until you fart in front of her and she retaliates with a real stinker." Whereas this is not word for word (and should not be taken word for word), I think it holds true.

Man woman, woman woman, man man, or any combination you can think of (Let's keep this in the same species, kids), love doesn't care. It knows no gender. However, what I have described can very well be true for a best friend. The declarations, the comfort, the honesty. What's the difference between a friend and a love? What makes your partner different from your best friend? I don't know. I can only speculate.

Perhaps it's the physical attraction. The difference between James your best friend and Mike the one you're in love with is the fact that you want to have sex with Mike.

Perhaps it's some sort of spiritual connection, some sort of unexplained phenomena. "True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." Owen Wilson's character from the Wedding Crashers could be on to something.

Perhaps it's nothing more than an extremist version of what I've already said. You trust James completely and you're comfortable around him to the point where you've told him your deepest, darkest secret, but you can't quite explain why you feel so much more comfortable around Mike.

Perhaps it's a bit of everything. Perhaps you think Mike is sexier, and that you feel genuinely complete with him around, to the point where you simply can't understand why you're so much more comfortable around him, even though you're 100% comfortable around James.

Perhaps I'm completely wrong. I've fallen in love once, and I haven't fallen out of it yet. I'm sure some of you are thinking that this is a load of wasted words, which is completely fine. This is nothing more than a theory, when you think about it.

Hopefully, though, whether you agree or not, you will re-evaluate your own ideas of love, and apply them to your current relationships. I think people's ideas of love begin get blurry to themselves, which leads them to believe they're in love when they really aren't. I don't believe people think about love enough.

The title says it all.

Making me create a blog so I could be in the 'in' crowd. For shame. All of you.